Several years ago when I was still a teenager I was diagnosed with a mental illness. I started working on learning all I could about the various Mental illnesses in the world. The biggest thing that upset me so much then, and still does today, is how much stigma that still surrounds all mental illnesses. I have been lucky enough to meet several people with various mental illnesses and learn about their struggles. I, too, have had several life changing struggles with Mental illness.
I have been blessed with a passion for teaching others about mental illness and also working with people who have had a mental illness. The other day someone approached me about this passion and stated I should start a blog about it. They gave me some great blogging sites I could use and Word Press was the one that was on top of the list.
As you can tell I have had personal experience with mental illnesses. I’ve had a mental illness most of my life and have heard all the myths, facts, and discriminatory comments about mental illness. I’ve heard the old saying about pulling yourself up by the boot straps and not needing medicine to control a mental illness. I have also lost several jobs due to the fact that my mental illness became known to the supervisors of the job I was in. I also have been diagnosed with one of the most controversial mental illnesses of all time that still scares people because of lack of understanding. That mental illness is Dissociative Identity Disorder.
They brought up starting a blog because of the personal experience I have both as a person with a mental illness and also working in a field with others who have mental illnesses. They also really felt I had a great passion and might be able to spread the facts about mental illness in a way that could eventually start changing the worlds view on mental illness one reader at a time.
As this is my first post on this blog I will not be going into too much today but I plan on educating everyone about different mental illnesses. I also want to bring hope to those who are struggling with a mental illness through my story. I hope that you enjoy this blog and learn a lot from it. Also feel free to leave any questions or comments that you have for me.
So lets start with a little bit of background info shall we?
I have been diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder and I have over 20 personalities ages 0-30. There are also darker personalities called the shadow people that hold the most traumatic experiences from my childhood (which we will not get into today). I was diagnosed in young adulthood but I know I had it in the past because I would get stressed and ‘feel and act different ages.” I would often tell people I feel little or I feel intense Anger. Some of the people I told this to tied it to me possibly having major mood swings as a teenager, however when they found out what I had been diagnosed with they realized and understood that was what I was dealing with all along.
When I change it is not obvious like some people try to make it seem. I cannot speak for everyone but I know that my personalities do not change their hair when they are out, or have their own sense of style with clothing. My personalities were made to help me appear normal to the outside world because inside I was stuggling with so much trauma that my little brain could not handle. So if you do not know about my personalities they try to appear as much like me as they can. They do not get anything out of making it obvious they are out, as a matter of fact we have lost several jobs due to the fact that we have dissociative Identity disorder, it’s definitely not something we would wish on anyone.
There are some changes that you can see according to people I have talked to about it after a change. They sometimes tell me I did something as that personality that I cannot remember. I have been told in the past that my voice changed, my posture changed, my facial expressions changed, or they could just tell it wasn’t me who was talking. When the personality takes over I know they are out, but I may not remember what was said or done.
I am currently in counseling for my Dissociative Identity Disorder and we are working on better communication with all of my Personalities. There will be times when one personality takes over and I know that personality is the one talking. It’s like I’m watching myself as someone else, if that makes any sense hahaha. Their actions are that of the age and feelings they have however they work hard to only do things they know I would be okay with.
Anyway that is where we will wrap it up today and we will continue more later.
Thanks for reading my first blog post!
Ending Stigma (one reader at a time).